Don’t you agree with that me and Elina look freaking FAB today?
O m g ! ! ! ! There’s only a few weeks left, and I’ve never experienced such a massive anxiety before,
I actually don’t wanna think about it, but I’m holding in so much emotions that I need to put it
down on ”paper” (my blog, dah) and organize things. My biggest question is where I’m about to be
based. Should you just follow your heart or brain? I love this city, I truly do, but not as much
as Stockholm. This is going to be the biggest challenge so far in my life. I know that I love
to overthink things, but that’s just me. What to do haha.
Photographer : Ida Zander
Model : Natasha Minter
Makeup & Hairstylist : Elina Balint
Stylist : My Olsson Pajkin
Weather is amazing in London, getting these spring feelings that I always miss during winter.
So we had to celebrate with an outdoor shoot, 8 looks in our beautiful city. I loved our team,
I think we all walk away with a big smile. Omg, I just realized how much I missed shooting
outside, even though I love studio, I feel like shooting outdoor can be so much more creative
and I do also think that it’s more of my style.
I can’t show you anything yet, but have patience! XOXO
Self-portrait – London 2017
Yes, Kaos is the Swedish word for chaos. The only word you need to use when you need to describe how
it is to be a catwalk photographer. Probably this is not something we always talk about, but
why do we need to keep it a secret? Photographers can be insane and aggressive. I remember the
first time I had to cover a catwalk, and I believe the photographers could see that it was my
first time, and they literally did everything to make it uncomfortable for me. I call it bullying.
”You can’t stand here, can’t you see that someone put their chair there, you’re going to annoy
everyone, you can’t have your backpack on, just so you know I’m going to sit behind you so
don’t try to move or else you will be in my way.” And then laughing at me.
I’m not that kind of photographer that needs to get the pictures and then I’m out of there
as soon as possible. To me it is important to get THE picture, the pictures that is taking focus
from every other photographs. I do also feel that I’m confident enough and that I don’t need to be
mean and nasty to get attention.
Aren’t the photographers afraid that perhaps the next person they bully might be an important
person? Perhaps they free-lance, but still, you represent yourself or someone else, and who the
actual f*ck would like to hire a photographer that acts like a child? I know there’s a big competition
between us as photographers. But why risk getting a bad reputation? Karma <3
(Me and my friend Marie during LFW AW17)
Would like to highlight my dearest friend and partner in crime Elina for always giving me amazing
makeup and hairstyles to my models. A girl I met in the beginning of my journey in London at South
Kensington during a sunny day. Our first editorial shoot, not our last at all. Babe, skål!
Some sneakiepiekiessss, my non objectifying project … o m g. I love it. Obsessed. What else?!
Thank you : Sulin Hasso
I love streetstyle, especially when the bloggers / instagram people I’m shooting for have an amazing style
and love to be creative with me. Sometimes I can struggle with doing the typical & traditional
outfit picture and I always tries to do it in my own way.
The best place to do streetstyle photography is fashion week, it is during this time that all
these amazing people come out on the streets with the craziest outfits you’ve ever seen.
Oh, oh, when I was younger, oh, oh, should have known better
And I can’t feel no remorse, and you don’t feel nothing back
– The Lumineers
Can you relate?
Sorry, I’m asking before I’m explaining, like always. Sometimes I feel lonely, not that I don’t have my
friends or family, I feel lonely because I’ve never got the chance to have someone that has
the same extreme cravings or passion as I have. I do not say that I’m better because I’m extreme,
I’m only saying that so far I haven’t met those people. I do meet lots of people that I can talk
to, but I know deep in my heart that it’s just empty words. Sometimes I do also wonder if it’s
me, that I’m the one with problem. The one who can’t relax, but let me tell you a story about a
girl who had the same dream as me, only that she was 19 at that time, she moved to Stockholm to
explore a new world, and she got stuck. She found herself with friends and her part-time job, but
she lost her self around the empty mojito glasses and crowdy nightclubs and forgot her creativity.
I feel like I’ve been trough it all, and now I want to focus more than ever. I feel myself a lot
more creative sober, and a lot more calm. But I do feel lonely, because now I don’t have my
party-friends and I haven’t found my creative people yet.
Does it sounds weird that I’m looking for crazy and creative people in my life? I’m quite creative and
a healed soul who loves to sit with my glass of wine during the sunset on my balcony I don’t
have. Haha… I do realize though that it will be a lonely journey, but I don’t mind.
I don’t want to show you way to much. But I’m just so damn proud over me and Christi! This photoshoot
was so damn powerful. I’m though a bit clumsy in the studio, but maybe that’s what makes me create
photographs like this. Something worth remembering and something unique.
When I grow old, First Aid Kit, thank you for creating amazing music, as Always.
Back to where we were (omg so many wherewherewhere shhh) I promised to come back here to write
when I have the inspiration and motivation. I don’t want to give you quantity instead of
quality. And I definitely think that I have something extra for you only.
But first I have to say, that I went to Tesco to buy a bottle of wine, guess what. I found a
big bouquet of yellow, blue, orange and purple flower for £1 !? Lucky me.
You know, trying to find out who the hell you are and what your passion is? It’s not as easy
as it may sounds. I’m not that kind of girl that has one big passion. I have too many, literally.
Sometimes I’m too confused by everything. Who am I, what do I believe in, what are my opinions
and what place do I have in this world!? Oh lord… haha.
I have come up with one thing though, my new project. NON OBJECTIFYING
I have already had four photoshoot with inspiring people, and I have a lot more planned for
the up-coming weeks. It’s weird, what was I so afraid of? I did not expect 60 people to contact
me within a few days, I was so overwhelmed that my soul was screaming of happiness. My heart
was almost running away, I got so exited and could almost not breath. I’ve found my place, this
is where I belong. I don’t belong with people existing in their bubble, where they are trying to
live the stereotypic life. Now I know why. All my ”whys” are almost gone. I feel a lot more calm
and happy now, and not afraid.
Photographer : Ida Zander
Model : Felizia Gustafson
It’s soon going to be my birthday, I’m turning 22. The 2nd of March is my day, and to identify myself as
”old” is sometimes crazy, and other times normal. I have sometimes a hard time to decide who
I’m and what my passion is. I love to do everything and nothing. I always know that when I’m
passionated about something I do everything for that dream. Sometimes I set to high goals which
makes me anxious and stressed out.
Yes, I’m turning 22. That doesn’t mean that everything is too late. It doesn’t either mean that
I’m supposed to be on top of the mountain yet. I have no patience which scares me. My biggest
fear is to give up, which I will never do. But what if? I’m not getting younger, I’m only getting
older and wiser which sometimes is quite bizarre.
As you may already have been figuring out, yes I’m thinking way to much. Can’t relax. Almost
thinking to much that it is blocking my brain. Blocking me from doing things that I love, because
I’m afraid of what others will think. Yes, people may seen me as the strongest one on earth,
but no. I’m as weak as anyone else. I believe in poetry, even though the only poetry I know
is trough the songs I love and live by.
22, a number that doesn’t look to pretty according to me. I kind of liked 21.
Am I a women now? Or when will I ever be? Will I ever be like the rest of them?
Social media is awful sometimes. In somehow it’s starting to be a competition between popular and
more popular. The rest of us don’t stand a chance. Sometimes it’s unfair to see how people
with no talent or passion can get opportunities that I have been crying for. Still I have to
stay positive and feel joy for those who succeed. Life is unfair, I’m old enough now to know
that, but still. I have so many ideas, so many things I wanna do, too many goals. Too many.
Social media, a beautiful disaster. Thankful for it, without it I wouldn’t have this portfolio.
Thankful for my new friends I’ve met during this adventure. But still…… Still.
I can’t concentrate, I have to focus on posting on different platforms, exist everywhere,
been seen and heard, everywhere. Not popular enough, not enough followers, not enough people
reading my blog. Who am I doing this for? To be honest, who cares? I do. I’m the one that cares
about my own well being and I’m the one that loves to look at my own things. I’m proud.
Am I the only one trying to be strong in this impossible social media world?